ClariiGuitarii Rants 105: On Miracles

Who knew Facebook could tell such great tales about changing for the better? So as I was scanning through my Home page, I saw this note about someone named Kevin. I wasn't really gonna pay much attention to it, but then I saw the sad face next to "Kevin". So that's what really triggered me into checking that note out. The curiosity burned and it eventually got the best of me, and before I knew it, I was so engrossed with what was written in it that I didn't even hear as much as notice my sister literally screaming by that time for me to open the door. Apparently, Kevin has a life-threatening sickness and he's actually been fighting it for a long time now. He's now in a coma, and it's just sad to hear how someone so young could be taken away the privilege to grow old and live a long life. But what struck me most was finding out that he was formerly an ATHEIST, which means he didn't believe in a God or any Supreme Being for that matter. For him, it's just him and mortality out here for him; No life after death, just eternal nothingness. But as his sickness took a hold of him, he eventually learned to cling on to the only one who would be there for us even when the whole world, even ourselves, have turned their backs on us -- God. It is true that we get closer to Him when we are in dire need of His guidance and grace. It just amazes me how someone with a dark viewpoint about religiosity could actually transform into someone who praises and adores Him for everything that has happened to him, even his sickness.


It made me realize that each and every one of us, even the most sinful ones, have the chance and capability to abandon their evil ways and face a new life head-on with God in the center of their lives. Believe me, it makes a GREAT difference. I should know, because there also came a point in my life when I thought that maybe God isn't really there, maybe he's just a mere fantasy that people are so obsessed with. All that changed when I experienced a miracle right before my very eyes. No ordinary person could possibly endure, more as survive 5 major stroke attacks in a span of 10 years. But my mom did. She came out with a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but she came back to us in one piece. She was very lucky to be still here to relive her tale to others, but I'm more luckier than her because I still get to see her everyday. And that alone is already enough for me to believe that there really are miracles in this world and there is only one being who's responsible for those miraculous deeds. :)

ClariiGuitarii Rants 104: On Trust

Trust is like a flowing river. It will never pass again as the same current. Once lost, you have no choice but to take the alternative route. It's hard to bring back that trust again after being pushed away like a broken toy. At first you get confused as you try to figure out how you feel, bu eventually, you'll end up losing either trust in yourself or trust for the other. Then you'll end up hurting others unintentionally. You start to blame yourself for being such a fool and allowing yourself to be treated like that. You start to hate and dwell on negative and destructive emotions, which I can say is never the right thing to do no matter what situation you are in. The more that you hate, the more that you remember. And the more that you remember the bad times, the more that it will grow stronger and try to dominate your sense of righteousness. Which means, the harder it will get for you to move on. 


We can never fully comprehend the vastness and complexity of a person's mind, and there is no way for us to figure out the exact liking and expectation of a person to another. That's the fun thing in life. That which adds zest to life is the mystery of the human's mind and soul. We do not mold that person into someone from our mental image. Instead, we try to settle the differences and try to work as a unit in order to accomplish something. That's the basic unit of trust. Both parties should compensate for the benefit of each one. An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, as they say.


Trust has his hefty little sidekick called expectation. They go hand in hand, like a couple inseparable by their love for each other. From expectation comes the twins fear and pain. When you expect something from someone, it's like putting half of your body underground and the other half sticking out towards the realities of the world. It's like digging your own grave and actually testing if you fit in it perfectly or if it still needs further adjustments. But then, to trust someone fully is a great task. You start with the glass half-empty, and usually end up with the glass half-full. Either way, it's how you look at it which makes the difference.

ClariiGuitarii Rants 103: ON DEATH & SUICIDE

I always thought that death comes to those who wait for it. It's something that you have to least expect. You don't usually come running and begging for it to happen to you. That is why I question those who had or have thoughts of committing suicide. I know that we're the ones responsible for whatever actions and decisions that we have to make, but two questions in mind that I have are, "What could possibly be more mind-boggling and disturbing than death itself? Would it answer the questions and solve the problems that they're facing?". I mean, WHY CHEAT LIFE BY ABRUPTLY ENDING IT? 

It's just sad to think how those people have lost all hope and have come to that wretched solution. It's actually not a solution, but an added burden to those whom they have left or will leave behind. It's like patching up a hole. It may temporarily be covered up, but it will always have a hole. It'll forever be there. That's different from filling up a hole, that's when you lose something/someone, but you know that there will always be another to fill up that empty void.

We may never and probably will never know the things and thoughts that are running through a suicidal person's mind, that is why having good reasoning is crucial to a person's life. It may either make you or break you, but what's important is that you used your head instead of your heart to atleast try to think things through. And you may never know, but it might actually give you another chance in life. 

ClariiGuitarii Rants 102

Sometimes, you just have to learn to live without those people whom you thought would be there for you at ALL times. After all, we're just people. We get tired, and we never think the same exact thoughts.
As the saying goes:

When all else fails, you find out who your real friends are. But when you're at your highest, your friends get to know who you are. 

Same goes with life. When you're about to give up, that's when the light comes shining down on you. The light finds you, to guide you into the right path again. It's ironic how sometimes people at their highest points in life feel like they're the lowest people from deep inside. They're usually the ones who lose their sense of reasoning and usually end up with no shoulders to lean on at all. An overactive ego may lead to your own destruction. It becomes an obsession, poisoning your mind with selfish thoughts and actions.


One thing can burn that out, though. ACCEPTANCE. When you learn to accept who and what you are, new doors will open for you. When you open your heart to someone/something else, that's when you'll feel whole again. When you start to accept the things that you have been blocking mentally and emotionally, you'll actually feel as free as a bird flying across the horizon.

ClariiGuitarii Rants 101

Do you know the feeling when you know something but you can't tell anyone for fear that it might ruin everything you have come to know of? I do now. Everyday's like a day spent in prison. Your conscience is trying to eat you up, but then you have to fight that stupid voice in your head that no matter how much you try to shut it up, it keeps on screaming at you from the inside. Not a funny feeling at all. I actually long for that subliminal place wherein I can do what I want without getting my feet pulled to my grave.

They say everything has a reason. I find that statement a bit vague. By what context do you mean by everything? Then there's this statement that says that everything has its limitations. Now how can everything have a reason when it has limits? Do you get my point? If you don't, don't worry, you're not alone 'coz I don't get it either. LOL. XD Well, what I'm really trying to say is that you can't expect one person to immediately accept something that is foreign to his/her usual framework of comprehension. So, that does not give you the right to adjudicate a person by his/her actions.

But sad to say, LIFE REALLY IS A BITCH. A lot of things cannot be undone. All you can actually do is to hope that something good comes your way again to mask up all the wrong things that has come to destroy your path. Only then will you feel your newfound glory. :|

Ola Bloglandia!

So, blogging ain't really my thing, but since I literally ran out of paper to write on about my daily dose of rants life, I decided to create an account and publish them online instead. I realized that not only does it save me more space since I can just post whatever I want here without feeling guilty for wasting too much paper, but it also gives me the freedom to say what I wanna say. Well, basically I don't plan to post here that much often though. I don't want this blogsite to transform into something like Twitter and Facebook wherein you status update every single thing that you do with your life. I want this to be more about realizations, not spur-of-the-moment emotions. :)


So, I just thought this'd be enough for an introduction. Toodles! :)